April 17th, 2026
Damn ok so I guess keeping up with a public journal is pretty hard. Especially since I don't even keep a personal journal. HPH is doing it's thing, constantly looking for cool events in Chicago or asking myself if I have enough energy to put on our own event. Castle Kid book is coming!! Final manuscript is finished and as I type this I have a format/cover design to intently review and approve. There will be a party when that is done:)
Life is decent, man I really can't complain. That doesn't mean there aren't a million issues in the world to address and solve but I can say I'm grateful for a lot. All of the tools available are mind blowing, being born in 1999 there's so many things I've seen become easier. It's interesting though because "easier" does have a cost. So you gotta do a cost/benefit analysis, and this "cost" I'm referring to is often not money. Shoutout to my friends, that's something I'm suuuuper grateful for right now (my awesome gf Kawai especially). I'm in therapy and as I prepare for an awesome 420 eve event, I've been thinking about a lot of past social relationships that make me angry at other people. I still get upset I was labeled a "bad kid" growing up and therefore wasn't invited to certain people's houses when kids that actually did hard drugs could hangout there all the time. It is what it is though, I don't need any conciliation, I prefer the friends I have now. I'm a healthy person compared to the majority of my country and I spread positive energy more than negative. As time goes on I hope that becomes more evident. Is there a point to this entry? Not really I'm just kinda rambling. Yanno, not a single person has brought up the writing on this website to me yet so, if you're reading this lmk. I feel like I should acknowledge the gigantic (self imposed?) chip on my shoulder, as someone once put it. Maybe I haven't been treated unfairly, but I've been let down, I've let myself down for sure. I spend basically everyday writing great lyrics, flowing and singing in a bunch of different beautiful ways, yet, I haven't taken the proper time to package and distrubute that. And I spent A LOT of time thinking that I was doing that proper work growing up. The fact is there's still more work to be done for the art that I want to make, the lack of recognition and my recent output is the evidence. Music people, video people, and social media people are so fucking awful and the worst part of that is how they remind me of myself because I am them. I'm so grateful yet so far from who I wish to be. One day I will be big enough to play at a venue the size of Aragon ballroom. One day I'll write, direct, and act in a comedy feature film. One day I will play a key role in shifting the format of how media is consumed on the internet. When I do these things I will be one of the best people in the world doing it. There's alot of days where I just chill or do something fun, because that's also what I want to do. When you want to do a lot of things, you have to do it sustainably.
October 23rd, 2025
I thought this website was broken for a second but I think it was just my laptop. I don't think I'll be able to release music before this year ends:(
I need to focus on House Party Hotline and finishing the publishing process of the Castle Kid book. Both of these things make the world a much better place and they're very relevant right now.
The fact is many Chicago/American residents are being terrorized by our federal government at the moment. Physical harm, kidnapping, harassment, and property damage. This is a chapter in the history books. Years from now I want to be able to say I did something to help my community directly.
August 8th, 2025
I'm so grateful for so many people and things. I want to tell them but time is finite & space is necessary. This is one of the reasons why I know making music is one of my life purposes, I need to preserve these feelings in songs. THEN RELEASE THEM! I will. The publishing process for the Castle Kid book is going to start very soon, I forget how important that is. House Party Hotline constantly needs new events so that's a big thing to maintain. I also feel like I need to make more videos, everyday I feel like my voice is necessary in multiple topics. It feels a bit narcissistic writing that out but I got the proof to back it up, all I gotta do is make the videos conveying my ideas in a digestible way. What I realize is that the most digestible way to express these thoughts is probably through music, then I can just make videos for that music.
I acknowledge there's a lot of tragedy and challenges in this world but my brain is nonstop focused on the wonders of today. Since I created something like House Party Hotline, I am constantly thinking that I don't do enough with the hotline because there's an infinite amount of fun possibilities to do with it. Creating fun & comforting experiences is my life purpose. I feel like I haven't done it enough. I know that creating music will lead me to where I want to go.
Shoutout to everyone in Chicago, you are the largest source of energy contributing to my positive feelings.
One of my favorite recent thoughts was realizing that I should just write songs that describe my life right now and the people that are in it.
July 28th, 2025
I saw a post today where someone asked an AI what it thinks the best human experiences are. The first answer it gave was "falling in love" with a brief description. I thought that was pretty cool because I'm like yeah falling in love is a pretty dope experience, possibly the best, it gave other good answers too. I couldn't help but also think to myself, as I do with any statement, who is the speaker? Since it was an AI, I asked myself what are some of the best human experiences an AI wouldn't think to mention. I thought of so many little sensory experiences. Sitting down after a long day, or just sitting down outside, in July, listening to birds, or whatever it is I'm hearing right now. If you look at the internet you can really only percieve humans from the perspective of their relationship to other humans, the internet is built on human connections so that's what you're percieving. By default we have a relationship with everything in our reality, ourselves included.
Thinking about balance.
July 7th, 2025
Yikes, I think is website kinda looks like crap. I explain the layout at the bottom if you're curious.
LIFE HAS BEEN GOOD.
I feel behind on many things. There will be new music in 2025. I really feel like the world needs it. House Party Hotline has been doing it's thing though. I don't have any pets, but I do take care of the hotline.
